Care to sign up?

Okay, one more day till this thing called Finals will be over!
Ugh, but the tough ones are on the last day, too...

KH, Agama & BM1.

Haiz.

Today said person bit my head off - nearly.
I just asked her whether she had a video cam for the project (something that's relevant to my title) & she just said - or sneered? - "Well, I'm not as rich as you."

Yikes.

Anyway, the 'project' is Project Ketchup (think of the Ketchup Song... C'mon. Everyone knows this song. Think of the chorus).
Would anyone care to join? It's really simple - just say your shout-out.
That's it.

& your names would be in the credits =)
You don't need to pay for it, you don't have to do something (too) stupid.
You just say your message & cut!

The people who've joined so far are:

1. Natasha - video girl
2. Ainura - she better
3. Bonnie

That's pretty much it.
Drop an e-mail or sms me (... after I find my phone, that is) or just say hi to me & tell me.

Cheers =)

Strike Two

Okay, this is just gonna be a quickie - I mean, not in that way!

You get what I mean =.="

Third day of finals & I'm still on my two feet - barely.
A lot of things happened since last week. A statement from a friend.

A train of thoughts occupying my mind.
You make me sad was what she said quietly to me.

Back-up friend was the main point.
I didn't get it at first but when it dawned upon me, it felt like a slap in the face.

But what if it's true?
Well, never mind.

If you're reading this, I just wanna say... Well, if it's true, then, thanks for telling me this before anyone had the opportunity to lash it out.

But I have to admit, after you said that & another person just reinforced it, I felt even more seperated from the 'Gang' now.

Haiz. Never mind.
I'm really missing the point of this post.

I wanted to say that this is strike two.
If my dad's reading this, then...

Why did you have to put this Video up?? Bwargh!

Honestly. But I prefer Ainura in her Oh Mother video =P
"Mom's in a bad mood."

Haha, dahlah rongak.

Yes, that's all there is.
& now, if you may excuse me.
I've a few videos to be edited.

O&O,
GadgetG;o)

Just Not My Day

It really isn't my day today.

Okay. Shall I list down the cruel irony thrown upon me?

Firstly...
I came super early for Cpaka Voices' rehearsals - I searched for them at the vocal room but they weren't there so I just went to assembly with Philip & Farah F.

But Farah D went up to get us & we went to the violin studio, there new hiding place.

So they were there all the time when I was going everywhere, walking my butt off!

Secondly...
So we practiced. It was cool.
Until Ms Ann broke the news that we weren't going to Cheras to perform - meaning, we didn't have a chance to escape our classes - which means, I was very, very screwed since I didn't bring any books except Geo & Maths.

Thirdly...
We went up for the special assembly for Datin's annual surprise party.
I was guessing that one-third of the occupants in the hall were feeling squeamish seeing cake on the stage.

So, dumdedum, we sat at the front row as we're, after all, the performers.
We were also sitting Pn Farah, who happened to turn around & asked me to do a chore of hers - get her a pair of scissors.

As I was stupid & always cannot be able to say the word No, I had to go through the crowded hall lane filled with primary kids & down to the office for that stupid pair of scissors.

With bruised feet after having 7 kids (yes, I counted) step on it.

But I just knew somehow the minute I entered the hall that I was late.

& lo behold! I saw familiar faces all on the hall, performing Eleanor Rigby.

It was brilliant - only that they weren't amplified so they couldn't quite be heard from the back of the hall.

I waited until they sang the Good Ol' Acappella song & crept up on stage.
Embarrassing moment of the week - no, scratch that. Month.

Fourthly...
All true Cempakans know that Datin's very generous when it comes to throwing her surprise bashes so in order to repay our wonderful-ness (if such a word), she gave us free lunch.

Which, you know, is handy & dandy.

Except for the fact that I was fasting.
The world could be so cruel.

Lastly...
The school bell went off & we were already racing our way to the linkbridge.
So as I headed to, erm, somewhere, Melanie told me that there was dirt on my skirt.

Yes.
Happy Birthday.

BWARGH!!!!!
So my efforts of fasting went out the window & I was stuck with a rumbling stomach which could've been filled for FREE!

I'm still stewing over the prospect.
It's so annoying =.="

I shall drown my sorrows in my stories.
Ciao =P

WARGH!!

Yes, yes. First it was 'AAAAAA!!!!', then was 'Ngh' - well, okay, it still is - & now...

[drumrolls]

"WARGH"!

Why Wargh! ?

Well, I blame Manga. I mean, yes, the Japanese plots are always good - keeps the readers on edge, I'm on your side.
But seriously.

Anime/Manga endings are never satisfying!!

When did I first experience this feeling? Oh, I dunno. When I was hooked onto PARADISE KISS.

Yea, that's right. You storywriters of said story look all guilty =.=
That's payback for keeping us TV-viewers biting our fingernails & when finally the story's going the way we want it, it just blows in our face & whoops!, there goes the credits & the two big, fat words THE END just appear on the screen.

Ngh. Yes, I am angry.

I just finished reading the last book of this latest manga series I got hooked onto two weeks ago, Hot Gimmick & the ending's so...


WARGH!!!!!! I'm gonna hunt Baonnie down for the TV series.

I mean, first Paradise Kiss. Now, THIS.

& I remembered the excruciating notorious trademark of the Japanese teen soaps (ala Manga & Anime) which is... TRAGEDY. There is no satisfying ending whatsoever & it goes totally unexpected & just leaves you thinking, "Wait! What about him???" or "That's it?!" or maybe even "She's supposed to go with HIM!!!", leaving you screaming into a pillow.

& yea, I'd understand if there's like a sequel like Grey's Anatomy, where the ending just hangs till the next & it continues...

But nooooo, this? This is like THE END, & laughing, "Muahahhaha, you spent 78 bucks on the series & this is the ending you get! Har har har har har!"

See? I'm so annoyed that I'm speaking rubbish!! BWARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

O&O,
The unsatisfied,
GadgetG;o)

Anti-socialness strikes again

Seriously. I mean, bcoz of anti-socialness, I am so not active in my extra-corricular activities.

I know that's a pretty lame excuse but it's the truest one.
The only witness for my verdict here is Brian but um, he doesn't know he witnessed anything.

I have it in proof - in my SNP. See, I was supposed to join handball but I kept boffing off the practises bcoz there were only like these form 2, 3, 4... In other words, the social ones.

I, as you may know, am truly not a social person.
I'm a SHY person. Shy people aren't all that outgoing.

Hence, shy.

So anywayz, tomorrow is my first-ever Wicked practise. & I was bouncing up & down, bcoz u know I finally get to o something during the hols, see?

But then I stopped hop-hoppity-hop after Brandon, Marleena & Amanda telling me that they're not going bcoz of something Lavinia said (only form 4 & 5). I mean, seriously.

Do you know there are no non-Cempakans (F1) there?? I'm like the only one!

Let alone the ONLY form 1 there!

& anti-socialness strikes again.

My insides are feeling all squirmish at the mere thought that I'm left outside the form 4&5 circle.

BAHH!!

I did it again

You know, I'm supposed to learn my lesson by now - isn't that what normal people do? Learn their lessons after a once near-death humiliating exposure?

This is one of my biggest sins, I think. & I am not going to reveal it to the WORLD.
It's so private that none of you guys know it - it's not even in my venting diary (which I cannot find but that's not my point).

These are one of my - so called - more dramatic moments so please... Enjoy the dramatics (such a word?) of yours truly, me.

My heart's still beating. I still couldn't believe that I'd underestimated people like that.
My tongue feels numb. My fingers are trembling.

My phone's switched off. The house phone's disconnected.

I am completely isolated from the world - despite the Internet.

Truly - truly - I shan't be forgiven for this sin. I mean, seriously.


Oh god, what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do???
Word gets out, I'd be labelled [ ].


Seriously.

Confused, again & again

Huh. The title sounds like some country song, repeating over & over until you'd get so fed up about it & throw it out in the trash.

I'm so INCANDASCENT & I don't even know WHY - is it because I've just realised that I've got no one to lean on anymore? I know you're going to challenge me & try & point out smeone but no, they're not the one. Read on for the elaboration.

My parents are worried that Rina & I've stopped becoming friends. I mean, normally, I'd say it's okay. Nothing's happening. She's hanging out with her people & I'm hanging out with mine.

But now? I can't say a word to protest.

Okay, lets list down my rantings, shall we?
1. Minah - Drifted. I'm sorry, I know you're one of thosepeople who reads my blog to check up on me every once in a while but admit it, we've drifted. I know I'm being a damned coward not to say this to your face so I'm just exploding bcoz I've been holding it in. We've drifted but you still got Lauren, Brian, Brandon, etc.
2. Brian - Pffft. Like I said, he's got Minah, which is fine. Handy-dandy. A little awkward but handy-dandy. The only thing is... He's changed. I mean, people've noticed. He hasn't laughed at Roy's dopey moves anymore nor has he joined in on one of Xela's weird jokes - instead he just glares & says, "Shut up." - which I guess is good & I shouldn't be complaining.
But it's scary.
3. Aley - yea, she's all I've got now but if you've read the previous posts... You'd understand my doubt over the stability on this whole thing before it blows out of poportion.
4. Rina - Like I said, we've drifted. She's still got barney (hehe), Lauren...

--- OPTIONAL ----
5. Guy P - Haha. Since when can I lean on him? Aley's patrol.

Me? Nada. Nothing. Zero. Zip.
The people I talk to are just those who I see everyday - they're not the ones who I'd like to have inside jokes with or pass grins when we pass each other.

& it just kills me because this thing happened EXACTLY last year & the year before - Xela, SM... All of them. This happened again when I vowed not to.

Dammit.

A message before above

I am so irate bcoz I've written this entirely LONG post about the matter above - & guess what? It just POPPED away - my Safari just jammed.
I'm sorry to all Blogger admins out there but can I just say that Apple hates Blogger? Sorry.

Venting.

Love, how I LOVE this world, LOVE, LOVE LOVE LOVE

Love. Maaaan, love is great.
Makes people high. Lalala love.

Lala haha love love love.
Dumdedum love makes the world go roound. I mean, really. What would we do WITHOUT love?
Nothing, that's what the answer is. Nothing.

Love, like a river, will cut a new path
whenever it meets an obstacle.

- Crystal Middlemas -

A Special World

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

- Sheelagh Lennon -

Love like the bird
which flew to a window
Splat! went the sound
The girl looke down
& oh! How she so-





Yea, yea. Whatever.
If you're just a browser, you must be thinking that I'm some sort of girl head-over-heels with puppy love, maybe she had a new boyfriend or gosh, gee whilkers! Had her first kiss - which would never happen.

If you really knew me, you'd either do one of the following:
a) Think that I've officially gone nuts (which, I can't say, I can blame you)
b) Come over & slap me on the face till I've come back to reality
or
c) Listen to what I'm about to say

Anywayz, you must be smart if you're still reading bcoz you'd know that that whole love ideal thing is just so that you can't see the pure - dare I say it? - HATRED that's boiling through my veins.

Yea, I know I'm writing gibberish here, so do stop if you don't care or have no time for such impudence from a girl like me.

Just got off the phone with Aley =.=
I've told myself to take a deep breath in. Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.

Blood pressure seems to be going down, so I guess I can still have enough energy to type.
She doesn't read my blog so it seems a little safe to just pour out all this bitterness gnawing the insides of me.

Why can't she just go away? Huh?
If she can't say a damn thing to me, why can't she STOP calling me, stop acting like a... A... Really, really, really damn irritating person who's just trying to rub it in my face that I'm a big, fat LOSER who has zero social life & has no "knowledge" of the outside world?

Huh? Is that why God put us here on Earth? To just make us boil with utter HATE for one another? Is that it?
I'm warning you, I sucker-punched my cousin when I was seven & he couldn't stop crying when his nose didn't stop bleeding until the next 10 minutes - yes, the 5-year-older cousin.

Whenever we're not talking to each other, or at least I was a little too busy with something because she caught me at a really bad time, she'd just say on the line, "Oh. Bye bye." & hang up on me.

She makes me sound like some sort of discardable item.
Am I a discardable item? One of those god-frustrating Barbie dolls which little girls keep but when they already hit puberty, they'd just throw it away as if it was "so last season"?

I am NOT a discardable, let alone a Barbie doll.

She treats me like a friend sometimes, sure.
But those times are mainly when there's people around.

Few days ago, when I watched all those numerous cliques going down the stairs of C3, I started thinking to myself, "Huh. So the teen life isn't just about guys." - Yes, I know. I thought that we'd all just go all hormone-to-the-max mode or something instead - "It's about finding a true friend. Peer pressure."

How come whenever she GRABS my diary - not politely ask, not politely inqure. No it's a snatch - she'd just read it, throw it in my face & criticize every single word, trying to psycho-analyze me like Minah usually does, only in vain?

"You sooooooo like him." was one of the things she said after reading this entry about me hanging around one of the guys.

"Ohmygod, it's SO obvious." Then she'd roll her eyes at me when I'd protest.

There was a time when she threw the book - no, MY diary. Not just a book - & hit it on my head, then smacked it in my face.
I mean, sure, there are those times where it'd be funny.

But it wasn't bcoz of alot of things. The main ones being that it was my diary, where did she have the rights to hit me on the head with something which BELONGS to me & she just RUDELY grabbed it.
Also that it was a hard-cover so don't just think that these dark spots on my face are just zit-marks.

& you know, she had the nerve - the FREAKING nerve - to look at me after that & blink, saying, "Why are you angry?"

Hahahahhahahahahahha. Why are you angry, she asks? I'd usually think that in my head.
If it wasn't against anyone's principles - except hers, it seems - I'd SMACK her on the face & scream at her for all this stupid abuse.

Why can't she just get her own life & get out of my FACE?




If you knew how many times she's done this to me.
Only if you knew.

Ngh

I don't even know why I'm in such a crabby mood. I slept early - well, 10:30pm's early in my book - last night, had lunch, went for an invigorating swim (the first time in a month!), getting loads of updates on Friendster =P
So what's with the twitching within me?

& yes, same cause. I mean, I don't get it.
Why do I get along with her if I just... Don't?!
Seriously. This is getting through my skin or something.

You know what... For all I care, I want to QUIT my society.
The 3As society, I'm saying.

& since nobody reads this blog, I get to express my anger through that picture I found - Calvin yelling something, which is the same thing I'm thinking right now.

Ugh.

To be honest, Minah & Aley are just... Being them, I realised.
I mean, first was Aley. Aley & her dumb mood swings, being all, "Oh I'm bz." & "Just bcoz i'm on9 doesn't mean I have to talk to you when I've got better people to talk to".
& we all know who the "better people" are.
Not me.
Minah... Well, I'll just give you a free pass. A reason why I shall not elaborate here.

You know, this is just ANNOYING.

I shall give credit to those who actually talk to me online. Like, now for instance:
Kim =) My free-lance therapist - I feel a little bit better
Cheng =P My BP Asst - even though he didn't help much but, yea.
Sabrinni! - well, just for 2 mins or something. Still.
Hijifa - Hmm... To be honest, he didn't do any justice but he did talk to me, so whatever.


SO THERE. There, there, there.
I've released all my anger & mould it into this post.


I hope you shall get angry for wasting your time on reading your post when you could've been doing anything better, like finding a cure for the cold, or whatever.





I'm still angry, though.





(ORIGINALLY, ORIGINALLY, ORIGINALLY, ORIGINALLY, ORIGINALLY, ORIGINALLY, ORIGINALLY, ORIGINALLY, ORIGINALLY)
Off&out,
GadgetG;o)

OVER!!

Exams are over! No more pressure coming from the parents, no more cramming up till late, no more stupid ice-cube, refrigerator-sub, primary classrooms!
Hellooo MacBook privilleges (sadly, my phone privilleges are still away from my grasp), TV privilleges & better yet... Snack privilleges!!!

Oh yea, & whoopee, classes. (Note that I only put a "." instead of an "!")
Hmm... You know, maybe I could celebrate this joyous event with a new treat in the VVSSS!!
Nope. No inspiration coming to my mind whatsoever.

The atmosphere still feels isolated - due to my phone's absence, most likely.
But asides that, no one is online. I mean, there're a few online but none of them are talking to me - & I don't know what to say to them.

Not to put it rudely but... It's just like that.

Dumdedum... All my therapists aren't online (shockingly)! Wow. This is new.
Well, anywayz. I'm in such a good mood - & not just bcoz the exams are over.
It's also bcoz my mom just gave me the Annual 2007 Princess Diaries book!!

Geeky/Childish as I am, I LOVE anything - ANYTHING - that's written by Meg Cabot! - Except the Eighth book. No offense =P
So... Not unlikely, I've got no thoughts to pour into this entry, so, you may've noticed but I'm just typing rubbish in here. Haha.


Well... That's it for now!



Off&out,
GadgetG;o)

Stolen Identity

Do you know how annoying it is when someone copies you? Like, your little sister or a toddler... Or even your friend?

Yea, I'm currently being annoyed. It seems that Aley has once again copied everything I do.
But this is the last straw!

She actually copied my SIGNATURE!! Not the handwritten one. The signature "off&out". THAT signature.
I'm offended, hurt & ANNOYED.

Does she actually think it's funny to tick people off?! Well, if you're reading this, all I can say is : IT'S NOT FUNNY.
& I mean it, this time.

Can't she just copy Spongebob Squarepants or something?! Or quote from her favourite book??
That's what I do!

That's what everyone original does!

Get with the program, lady! Copying other friends are ripping us off.

You included.



Just wanted to release that anger & into this post.

It worked =P



(originally) Off&Out,
GadgetG;o)

AGAIN she did this

Do u have those kind of friends where, you know, you like but you ALWAYS get in trouble with?
I'm not gonna claim names here, since this is the Internet, after all. Let's just call her Aley?

(PS : I'm not in a good mood with Aley so there may not be alot of positive points with her)

Yea, okay, so I have these 2 friends - Minah & Aley. & Minah's great - I mean, she always helps me out in sticky situations & cheer me up when I'm down. Way down.

Same with Aley - that's what I keept telling myself, course.
But it's just that, she keeps treating me as if I'm discardable or something. I mean, first she's nice & later she'd go all psycho-maniac on me.

Today for instance? We were talking on the phone & I was just being myself - always low on self-ego, if you must know. This is just general information.
& suddenly, she went all angry at me & went, "See, this is the thing Minah & Aley hate about you." (Yes, she did emphasise on HATE) "You always see the BAD sides of things. The darkest of life. Just like Cristina, from Grey's Anatomy."
As much as that was complimentary - yea, I'm a geek of Grey's Anatomy. Who isn't? - being called Cristina & all, I just couldn't stand that SHE was criticizing me.
Where did she stand on having the nerve to criticize me? Isn't that the elders who have the rights?

So i just kept quiet & she didn't stop for a breath. She just kept on going.
"& you know wat, you're a lousy, lazy, shit-head friend."

[beep beep]

& there, I just looked at my phone & realised that she had hung up on me after calling me a lousy, lazy, shit-head friend.

Man, is Friday my day or what?

Oh, & here's a little bonus : Aley & Minah thinks I like Guy P when I only like Guy CBA.
That really hurts me. Not that they, you know, were talking behind my back - yea, so much for the vow, guys.
Not bcoz they're making their own assumptions.

It's the fact that they don't believe me when I said I don't.
I. Don't. Like. Guy P.

I like Guy CBA.

This proves how much they know of me. I mean, they should know that I don't like TWO guys at the same time.
i mean, that's just stringing them along.
What have I ever done to deserve this?

& I can't believe how much happier I am whenever I admit it.
That I like Guy CBA.

The dude who gave me an orange for good luck as a belief in Chinese New Year. The guy who gives me a guy's-perspective in life. The guy who had never called me a shit-head friend.

Again.

Isn't it funny? They say that we learn from our mistakes?
But like my best friend, SAB, said, What is it that we learn from our mistakes when we're just gonna end up doing it again?