... Sometimes.
Well. OK.
I'm just.
Speechless.
I can't tell people about it because... It wouldn't be fair.
I probably deserved it.
I saw it coming.
But I really just don't get it.
So I shouldn't change? So I should actually stay the same as I was way back when?
So I was destined to be that girl who was so pathetic at one point, she had a dream about a certain someone?
& I should ignore people?
Succumb
to
pressure?
Was the (other) person right?
I do have a back-up friend?
I've changed.
I know it.
But in a good way?
Or bad?
It's my
fault
that I've
actually
grown up
in a way?
It's my fault
that I befriended
someone - in which case
I betrayed someone?
How can one betray someone by making a new friend?
That's not fair.
This is not fair.
So I'm now the proud girl to be
a suck-up
a loser
a stranger
& many other things.
How did I change?
Just. Tell me.
I know it's because I started... Well,
making friends
with a lot of different
people.
& if I've betrayed or hurt or offend you in anyway
I mean this sincerely
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry that I ate the last piece of cake.
Sorry that I didn't back you up.
Sorry that I didn't come for your birthday party.
Sorry that I borrowed your pink color pencil & never gave it back.
Sorry that I never lent you that book I could never find.
Sorry that I bragged about my test marks.
Sorry that I never did find your jokes funny.
But mostly.
I'm just sorry for not saying these 'sorry's earlier.
Thursday 18 October 2007
Tuesday 16 October 2007
Catching Up
Wow. I don't believe it.
Has it been that long since I actually written in this?
I guess I've been caught up with... Stuff.
What, with puasa & Hari Raya & FINALS.
Yup. Well, just thought of doing a sort of summary about the absence from my blog.
Lets see...
Ah, yes! Have you met
Has it been that long since I actually written in this?
I guess I've been caught up with... Stuff.
What, with puasa & Hari Raya & FINALS.
Yup. Well, just thought of doing a sort of summary about the absence from my blog.
Lets see...
Ah, yes! Have you met
Colin Turner
He's :
I mean, like like.
Very pathetic, I know.
But there's nothing going on, anymore.
Well, I don't find anything interesting going on.
You're probably gaping at me after reading that sentence.
Yes, I'm aware that my year (as in, you know, students' year) is probably the most... Entertaining? Dramatic? year ever.
Shall I count the ways?
I really think that that's good enough reason to fall for a fictional character.
Sorry, not just a fictional character.
My fictional character.
Fish! Sorry, gotta go.
Off&out.
- green-eyed
- a year my senior
- six-foot tall
- possibly the funniest & sweetest guy you'd know
- non-existent
I mean, like like.
Very pathetic, I know.
But there's nothing going on, anymore.
Well, I don't find anything interesting going on.
You're probably gaping at me after reading that sentence.
Yes, I'm aware that my year (as in, you know, students' year) is probably the most... Entertaining? Dramatic? year ever.
Shall I count the ways?
- Student's laptop (from my year), um, fell from apparently 2 floors. The boys found it funny when they saw the sleep light flashing on.
- Total drama. This girl hates that girl.
That girl hates another.
The other just hates everyone.
So begins the creation of rumor-spreads.
... Did you notice that there were no mentions of guys at all? Not to be sexist. - Apparently, I'm a person who always has a - what's it called? - back up best friend.
Yea, that's right.
According to the person who accused, I cling to one - & if that 'one' is absent, I head to the next person to cling to.
(This is what I've been wanting to do for so long)
If it's true, then. I'm sorry. If you're the person who's been one of my many 'victims', I sincerely apologize. No sarcasm here. - Also! Because of number 3, I've been thinking...
So who's my real best friend?
There can only be, like Lauren said, one best friend.
If that's true... Who is it?
I really think that that's good enough reason to fall for a fictional character.
Sorry, not just a fictional character.
My fictional character.
Fish! Sorry, gotta go.
Off&out.
Monday 15 October 2007
Of Pulut & Payung
Before I get started...
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
&
Maaf Zahir Batin
&
Maaf Zahir Batin
Yes. It's that wonderful time again. The time of hanging Hari Raya cards & mercun...
My theory about this celebration is that Raya is when you gain back the weight you just lost during the Ramadhan Puasa.
Which, you have to admit, is true.
Anyway... This is the 3rd day of Raya Week & I'm still on my two feet!
Well, barely.
I started the day off by waking up in a four-poster bed in Cyberview Lodge (yes! I spent my Raya days there!) & showering.
Then, I began my buffet breakfast with my parents, grandparents & Uncle Jay.
This is where I concluded that technology is a traitorous thing.
Do keep in mind that I do not do this to my friends but just to my family - alright, no. Just to my two uncles.
As you may (or may not) know, Uncle Jay & Aunt Princess (names censored for obvious reasons) recently broke up from their since forever relationship - it's shocking.
More shocking was the evidence that I found in Uncle Jay's phone.
I may have stumbled across his messages inbox & sent...
& probably a couple of (nauseating...) messages between him & - presumably - his new girlfriend - shall call her Aunt Z.
Dude. The messages they sent to each other... It's like reading one of my classmates' messages.
It's that lovey-dovey.
Well, anyway.
After that, we swam a couple of laps & speed-packed my bags.
Zoom! Rushed to pick up my grandfather for my book spree =)
Which was how I found myself carrying two books (one Mother-Daughter Book Club & Girl At Sea. It looked interesting... & it was hardcover!) & a grin on my face.
Zoom! Picked up my dad & maid, dropped off my grandfather, changed to my baju kurung Kedah & went off to Faridah & Farhana's open house.
When I went there, I saw Faridah who's on Raya holiday from her boarding school. Guess who's taller?
[nudge nudge, wink wink] =P
Sorry, Siew May. Couldn't resist!
Anyway, after saying hi to the host & hostess(es?), I made a beeline for the buffet table & ended up with a plate of DELICIOUS - & I do mean delicious - kuay teow.
After that, I caught sight of Adriana with her brother, Buzz.
We both started eating the desert (yes, I know. I shouldn't have done that but the desert was so good! There were cupcakes, these really cute chocolates & cake!) & hanging around at a corner of a room while observing Faris, Faridah & Farhana's little brother, with his Thomas train.
Zoom! Went to the ABC section & had ais with a little too much syrup.
Kept stealing Aisha's ice.
Oh, oh, oh!
Don't forget... I was looking through Adriana's bag - yes, I know. I'm very the kepoh, ok? - & saw a pair of huge sunglasses.
Who could resist?
Plus, the fan was a good effect.
So came the dare Adriana gave me.
Buzz & Adriana went back home. Right after they left, three people came.
A couple & their son, who looked so familiar I had to squint to see the guy.
Guess who it was?
My ex-schoolmate, Bryan (Std 6 Terra 06).
After that, my parents, Aisha & I made a move to the next open house : Nabil & Naim's.
Which means that I had to go tho Puffy's neighborhood.
When we arrived there, I headed towards the buffet table & ate a few sticks of satay.
Aisha was being tortured.
Well, what was I supposed to do? My stomach was hungry & it was, after all, an open house.
Meaning open dinner.
Yum.
Anyway, after that, I grabbed a glass of Coke & headed upstairs.
We observed the hosts' library & wondered how can the guy have as many books as I do?
Oh yea. Speaking of which, Nabil hasn't changed much.
Guess who's taller? =P
Well, yea. He hasn't changed. Much.
Just the pubertal language of his, is all.
Hmm... Then I went back down & hogged more satay sticks.
Watched Aisha in her drawing glory.
Wished Aunty Zita a happy birthday!
Went back up.
Aisha was glued to the computer - seriously glued to the computer for an hour or so.
I read two-three books. Gave up.
Uncle Faizal was kind enough to offer me a source of entertainment - Astro.
Glorious, glorious Astro.
Unfortunately, it was Astro Max, which I am no master of.
There were no shows so I thought it was because of the bad reception.
So of course I had to check the signal strength but somehow I accidentally screwed it up by clicking some installation setup...
Erm.
So I had to - grudgingly - ask Nabil for help. Thankfully, he thought that his Astro Max was just giving some attitude (his words!) & switched it off.
I went back down & talked to Aisha's sister(s).
Went back up - was deprived.
I remembered about the Astro Max after a few sketches (of Colin Turner).
& YES! It worked.
But Aisha's sisters were there which was why I spent my time watching the ending of Wendy Woo : Homecoming Warrior.
Then I had to go back down - but I refused to go away from that humongous library!
Which was why I found myself carrying not 1, 2 or even 3 but four books from said library.
2 books from Nabil's collection (Lemony Snicket 2 & 3) & 2 from Naim's (Alex Rider 2 & 3)
As I was walking down, probably looking an (intellectual) idiot with a grin on my face & four books in my arms, I found myself walking straight into...
... the headmistress of my school.
It's not that it was unpleasant to see Pn Farah.
No. It's just very... Well, the word suitable here is... Surprising.
At first I didn't quite recognize who the lady was until my mom said, "Aishah! Salam lah Pn Farah ni."
So all in all, today I met my schoolmate (Bryan), childhood friends (Nabil, Naim), headmistress of my school (Pn Farah) & prefect of my school (Farah Aisyah).
Also, I ended up with 6 books, begging me to read them!
It's a pretty fun day.
But that's what Hari Raya's about.
Not (just) about the duit raya or the mercun or even the food but about family & friends & gratitude.
My theory about this celebration is that Raya is when you gain back the weight you just lost during the Ramadhan Puasa.
Which, you have to admit, is true.
Anyway... This is the 3rd day of Raya Week & I'm still on my two feet!
Well, barely.
I started the day off by waking up in a four-poster bed in Cyberview Lodge (yes! I spent my Raya days there!) & showering.
Then, I began my buffet breakfast with my parents, grandparents & Uncle Jay.
This is where I concluded that technology is a traitorous thing.
Do keep in mind that I do not do this to my friends but just to my family - alright, no. Just to my two uncles.
As you may (or may not) know, Uncle Jay & Aunt Princess (names censored for obvious reasons) recently broke up from their since forever relationship - it's shocking.
More shocking was the evidence that I found in Uncle Jay's phone.
I may have stumbled across his messages inbox & sent...
& probably a couple of (nauseating...) messages between him & - presumably - his new girlfriend - shall call her Aunt Z.
Dude. The messages they sent to each other... It's like reading one of my classmates' messages.
It's that lovey-dovey.
Well, anyway.
After that, we swam a couple of laps & speed-packed my bags.
Zoom! Rushed to pick up my grandfather for my book spree =)
Which was how I found myself carrying two books (one Mother-Daughter Book Club & Girl At Sea. It looked interesting... & it was hardcover!) & a grin on my face.
Zoom! Picked up my dad & maid, dropped off my grandfather, changed to my baju kurung Kedah & went off to Faridah & Farhana's open house.
When I went there, I saw Faridah who's on Raya holiday from her boarding school. Guess who's taller?
[nudge nudge, wink wink] =P
Sorry, Siew May. Couldn't resist!
Anyway, after saying hi to the host & hostess(es?), I made a beeline for the buffet table & ended up with a plate of DELICIOUS - & I do mean delicious - kuay teow.
After that, I caught sight of Adriana with her brother, Buzz.
We both started eating the desert (yes, I know. I shouldn't have done that but the desert was so good! There were cupcakes, these really cute chocolates & cake!) & hanging around at a corner of a room while observing Faris, Faridah & Farhana's little brother, with his Thomas train.
Zoom! Went to the ABC section & had ais with a little too much syrup.
Kept stealing Aisha's ice.
Oh, oh, oh!
Don't forget... I was looking through Adriana's bag - yes, I know. I'm very the kepoh, ok? - & saw a pair of huge sunglasses.
Who could resist?
Plus, the fan was a good effect.
So came the dare Adriana gave me.
Buzz & Adriana went back home. Right after they left, three people came.
A couple & their son, who looked so familiar I had to squint to see the guy.
Guess who it was?
My ex-schoolmate, Bryan (Std 6 Terra 06).
After that, my parents, Aisha & I made a move to the next open house : Nabil & Naim's.
Which means that I had to go tho Puffy's neighborhood.
Shock horror!
When we arrived there, I headed towards the buffet table & ate a few sticks of satay.
Aisha was being tortured.
Well, what was I supposed to do? My stomach was hungry & it was, after all, an open house.
Meaning open dinner.
Yum.
Anyway, after that, I grabbed a glass of Coke & headed upstairs.
We observed the hosts' library & wondered how can the guy have as many books as I do?
Oh yea. Speaking of which, Nabil hasn't changed much.
Guess who's taller? =P
Well, yea. He hasn't changed. Much.
Just the pubertal language of his, is all.
Hmm... Then I went back down & hogged more satay sticks.
Watched Aisha in her drawing glory.
Wished Aunty Zita a happy birthday!
Went back up.
Aisha was glued to the computer - seriously glued to the computer for an hour or so.
I read two-three books. Gave up.
Uncle Faizal was kind enough to offer me a source of entertainment - Astro.
Glorious, glorious Astro.
Unfortunately, it was Astro Max, which I am no master of.
There were no shows so I thought it was because of the bad reception.
So of course I had to check the signal strength but somehow I accidentally screwed it up by clicking some installation setup...
Erm.
So I had to - grudgingly - ask Nabil for help. Thankfully, he thought that his Astro Max was just giving some attitude (his words!) & switched it off.
I went back down & talked to Aisha's sister(s).
Went back up - was deprived.
I remembered about the Astro Max after a few sketches (of Colin Turner).
& YES! It worked.
But Aisha's sisters were there which was why I spent my time watching the ending of Wendy Woo : Homecoming Warrior.
Then I had to go back down - but I refused to go away from that humongous library!
Which was why I found myself carrying not 1, 2 or even 3 but four books from said library.
2 books from Nabil's collection (Lemony Snicket 2 & 3) & 2 from Naim's (Alex Rider 2 & 3)
As I was walking down, probably looking an (intellectual) idiot with a grin on my face & four books in my arms, I found myself walking straight into...
... the headmistress of my school.
It's not that it was unpleasant to see Pn Farah.
No. It's just very... Well, the word suitable here is... Surprising.
At first I didn't quite recognize who the lady was until my mom said, "Aishah! Salam lah Pn Farah ni."
So all in all, today I met my schoolmate (Bryan), childhood friends (Nabil, Naim), headmistress of my school (Pn Farah) & prefect of my school (Farah Aisyah).
Also, I ended up with 6 books, begging me to read them!
It's a pretty fun day.
But that's what Hari Raya's about.
Not (just) about the duit raya or the mercun or even the food but about family & friends & gratitude.
Saturday 6 October 2007
Jinx
I've just finished this book today - & I just got it today! =P
Really. It was that good.
Then again... It has been quite a while since I got my hands on a superb book - or a readable book, at all!
What, with finals & stress & peer pressure &...
Well, it's over so hurrah!
Okay, scratch that. Pretend I did not just say a medieval cheer.
Anyway...
Jinx had been released a month ago but it was worth waiting for! This book's a good read novel - not the sappy kinds with the woes of a teen.
A girl named Jean - as in French for John Jean - also known as Jinx, for her prone-to-accidents 'bad luck', moved from her hometown in Iowa to her extended family's in Manhattan.
Things weren't looking all that bright with the sophisticated Tory (... crackhead) starts giving the cold shoulder when her crush, Zack - yes, my friend. Zack - begins spending a lot of time with Jinx.
& from there, it all went downhill - Tory calling Jinx a witch, Jinx the side plate of the student society & Jinx's mysterious reason why she had to get away from her quaint town in Iowa.
In my opinion, Meg Cabot has gone for a wider range with this book - I mean, it has everything!
Mystery, drama, magic...
& this isn't the kind of book that has all the flaws of 'too's.
Like too sappy or too drama-material.
It has a little of a Walt Disney touch here, a pinch of Harry Potter there & something I'd like to call as the Meg Cabot touch.
This book, my friend, is a must-read & a must-have.
Coming soon... Queen Of Babble (2) : In the Big City
Wednesday 3 October 2007
Care to sign up?
Okay, one more day till this thing called Finals will be over!
Ugh, but the tough ones are on the last day, too...
KH, Agama & BM1.
Haiz.
Today said person bit my head off - nearly.
I just asked her whether she had a video cam for the project (something that's relevant to my title) & she just said - or sneered? - "Well, I'm not as rich as you."
Yikes.
Anyway, the 'project' is Project Ketchup (think of the Ketchup Song... C'mon. Everyone knows this song. Think of the chorus).
Would anyone care to join? It's really simple - just say your shout-out.
That's it.
& your names would be in the credits =)
You don't need to pay for it, you don't have to do something (too) stupid.
You just say your message & cut!
The people who've joined so far are:
Drop an e-mail or sms me (... after I find my phone, that is) or just say hi to me & tell me.
Cheers =)
Ugh, but the tough ones are on the last day, too...
KH, Agama & BM1.
Haiz.
Today said person bit my head off - nearly.
I just asked her whether she had a video cam for the project (something that's relevant to my title) & she just said - or sneered? - "Well, I'm not as rich as you."
Yikes.
Anyway, the 'project' is Project Ketchup (think of the Ketchup Song... C'mon. Everyone knows this song. Think of the chorus).
Would anyone care to join? It's really simple - just say your shout-out.
That's it.
& your names would be in the credits =)
You don't need to pay for it, you don't have to do something (too) stupid.
You just say your message & cut!
The people who've joined so far are:
- Natasha - video girl
- Ainura - she better
- Bonnie
Drop an e-mail or sms me (... after I find my phone, that is) or just say hi to me & tell me.
Cheers =)
Tuesday 2 October 2007
Strike Two
Okay, this is just gonna be a quickie - I mean, not in that way!
You get what I mean =.="
Third day of finals & I'm still on my two feet - barely.
A lot of things happened since last week. A statement from a friend.
A train of thoughts occupying my mind.
You make me sad was what she said quietly to me.
Back-up friend was the main point.
I didn't get it at first but when it dawned upon me, it felt like a slap in the face.
But what if it's true?
Well, never mind.
If you're reading this, I just wanna say... Well, if it's true, then, thanks for telling me this before anyone had the opportunity to lash it out.
But I have to admit, after you said that & another person just reinforced it, I felt even more seperated from the 'Gang' now.
Haiz. Never mind.
I'm really missing the point of this post.
I wanted to say that this is strike two.
If my dad's reading this, then...
Why did you have to put this Video up?? Bwargh!
Honestly. But I prefer Ainura in her Oh Mother video =P
"Mom's in a bad mood."
Haha, dahlah rongak.
Yes, that's all there is.
& now, if you may excuse me.
I've a few videos to be edited.
O&O,
GadgetG;o)
You get what I mean =.="
Third day of finals & I'm still on my two feet - barely.
A lot of things happened since last week. A statement from a friend.
A train of thoughts occupying my mind.
You make me sad was what she said quietly to me.
Back-up friend was the main point.
I didn't get it at first but when it dawned upon me, it felt like a slap in the face.
But what if it's true?
Well, never mind.
If you're reading this, I just wanna say... Well, if it's true, then, thanks for telling me this before anyone had the opportunity to lash it out.
But I have to admit, after you said that & another person just reinforced it, I felt even more seperated from the 'Gang' now.
Haiz. Never mind.
I'm really missing the point of this post.
I wanted to say that this is strike two.
If my dad's reading this, then...
Why did you have to put this Video up?? Bwargh!
Honestly. But I prefer Ainura in her Oh Mother video =P
"Mom's in a bad mood."
Haha, dahlah rongak.
Yes, that's all there is.
& now, if you may excuse me.
I've a few videos to be edited.
O&O,
GadgetG;o)
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